Succeeding In My Skin

By: KyAnna Walton

“They are expecting us to fail the state exams! You know they think we’re dumb. We don’t have time for you guys to sit here and chat about yesterday, we have things to do!” I vividly recall my 8th grade science teacher yelling at us for talking during her lesson. At the time, it was unclear to me why she was so angry and that this very time would lead me to my destiny.

Being from a small town there isn’t much opportunity for girls like myself and it’s like going to war to take advantage of the little opportunity we do get. As children, we walk around care free, unless your skin is dark. I wasn’t aware that the gift of life to me would cause so many people discomfort— well at least that’s what the world wanted me to believe. See, society wanted me to feel as though my presence was a burden, and it wasn’t until my tenth grade year that it clicked why Mrs. Smith was so angry.

She wanted us to make it clear that we couldn’t be silenced by insults but to let our test scores speak. When I realized why she was angry, I became angry, because I was blind to what was going on around me. Those words she spoke still echo in my head, because it was those words that taught I have to fight, not physically but mentally. Throughout my years, I’ve been called the “N” word by opponents, told that I couldn’t have certain roles because I was too dark, and not chosen for jobs that I was qualified for. Though it’s heartbreaking, that hatred still exists. I found strength in Mrs. Smith’s words to persevere.

Though I’ve experienced some tough situations, I don’t think I could have survived some of the things that the women in my family have. They’ve endured things to provide for my family and continue to pass these strengths to me. My mother is an I.T agent for the school district in my home town. She took initiative and created a proposal for a new position that would surely bring order to the head department. This position would not only put her department in a better position to succeed, but it would also put her in a better position to provide for her family. When it came down to it, the position was awarded to another man in the department. Her boss then belittled her when she asked, “why not me?” Though disappointed, she still gets up for the same job every day to provide for us. That drives me to finish school when I am wanting to give up when things aren’t going my way.