Welcome to the inaugural edition of the Houndbytes advice column! Each week our wonderful agony aunt, Amie, will be answering your questions with her custom blend of practicality, experience, snark, and humor. We try to keep her on a leash, so make sure to send us any and all queries you may have. Over to you, Amie…
First, let me welcome you to our wonderful university and congratulate you on taking the first step to a prosperous future. A college degree will take you far in life, so let’s get straight to the best advice I can possibly give a new freshman!
After giving this question much thought, I have compiled five basic (but helpful) tips:
- Run out right now and buy an alarm clock. (Your phone will probably die on you in the middle of the night and then, sigh, you’re late for an 8:00AM class.) Actually, you’d better make it three alarm clocks placed strategically around your dorm room, apartment, or house. Why three? Well, for starters, you have been partying all summer and sleeping until noon. Those days are over! By the time you hunt down those alarm clocks and shut off their annoying beeping, you will be wide awake and ready to start your day.
- For the love of all that is fabulous, put on some clothes! Seriously. Nobody wants to sit next to you if you’re still in the bed-wrinkled pajamas you’ve been sweating and farting in all night. For one thing, it’s just plain gross – and for another, do you really want to give the impression that you are too lazy for zippers? If you’re too lazy to even get dressed in the morning, how inspired are you to truly do your homework or even finish your first semester? College is not high school (and if you wore your PJs to class even then, there is no hope for you), so show a little self-respect. I know as a freshman you can get away with casual dress, but we would earnestly prefer you re-wearing yesterday’s clothes to you in pajamas. It takes less than two minutes to throw on some pants. Don’t make us suffer for your laziness!
- So now back to that alarm clock thing: be on time to class. The professors do not have to let you into the classroom if you are as little as ten minutes late. Ten minutes does not seem like much time, but a lot can happen in even the first five minutes of class! (Of course, being ten minutes late is better than being entirely absent.) On that topic, if know you’re running late, shoot your professor an email. Common courtesy, people. Remember, we are always here for your success but that success finally depends on you. It is, after all, your money being spent on these classes. Just think of college as a leprechaun with a pot of gold — that gold is supplied by you and the college gets to keep it whether you pass or fail.
- Do your homework! Set aside a few minutes every night to get in some study time. Waiting until the last minute just stresses you out unnecessarily, and last-minute work most likely will not receive a fantastic grade. If you start things early and run into issues, you still have time to ask your professor for some guidance. Hey, you’re a big kid now! No one is going to take away your iPhone if you don’t do your homework. It would, however, be a sad walk of shame home to tell mom and dad you squandered their education money with poor time-management.
- Rock out! Have fun! Enjoy your freedom! Not all the time, of course (see point four), but do take some time to enjoy the great activities our campus has to offer. Get involved and have a good time. Between French club, football games, concerts and so much more, you can have a great college experience. College is the first step on the road to a bright future. Make sure you can look back on it and say, “Yeah, that was fun,” instead of, “Wish I had done that.”
Well, there you go: my handy-dandy words of wisdom. If you’d like some more personalized advice, email a question to enmuhoundbytes@gmail.com
Have a great semester!